Oh my god.  I haven't been here in quite a while.  Sorry about that, imaginary reader.  So my life is a mess right now, but I've somehow found myself being really okay with that.  It's not that I enjoy the chaos of not knowing what is coming next, but that sometimes I need that chaotic, uncertain, kick in the pants to put me on the right track.  I'm quitting my job (so happy about that, fuck that place) and going back to finish my degree.  My two best friends ever have moved away, so I'm feeling kind of alone a lot of the time now.  I feel like I'm almost ready for another relationship, after getting fucking ripped apart way back when.  I just need the beautiful and whimsical muse to make it a reality.  Anyway, I'm just checking in, I suppose.  Writing things down, so I can know them, and make them real for myself.  It's almost been a dream-state, the last week-ish, things move too fast sometimes, and sometimes I don't like to process things as rapidly as they occur, which gets me into trouble every so often.  But it's okay.  I'm gonna do what I know is right.  Right now, that consists of cancelling my involvement with a corporation I see as corrupt and preying upon people with disabilities.  So you know, that's fun.  I'm seriously considering contacting the Executive Director to voice my concerns, now that I don't have to fear any retaliation.

God damnit, life.

Why is it that every single god damn time I feel like I'm getting back to being my normal happy go fucking lucky self, my life throws even more shit at me that beats me straight fucking down again. It used to be the case that I was just depressed, now I'm fucking furious that for some reason my life and a few select people involved in my life has apparently just fucking decided that I'm not allowed to be happy. I come home, a little drunk, had a good time with two of my friends, and then bam. Down again. No Joey, you don't get to feel good about yourself right now. Other people get to feel good because no matter how much you try to be the nice guy, you're going to get walked all over.